From the desk of Ms. K-
Over the last decade, there have been many questions I have been asked as a teacher, yet some still take me by more surprise than others.
The question of “Am I a good parent,” still blows me away. “Why?” You may ask. Well, it depends on how close my relationship is with the parent when this question comes up, but my initial reaction is to want to stand up from behind my table and give the parent a big bear hug.
The first thing I want the parent to know when asking me this question, usually with tear-filled eyes, is that I think that there is something beautiful in being so vulnerable and opening up to another person and asking them for their opinion about such a personal topic. Think about how much trust you are giving to this person (in this case myself) by asking them this. It takes a lot of courage to ask another adult about your parenting skills. So if you’ve ever asked a teacher this question, I want you to know first and foremost that you are absolutely an AWESOME parent, because you CARE!
Over the past decade, I’ve encountered thousands of adults and taught hundreds of students. Not a single parent who didn’t genuinely care about and unconditionally love their child EVER asked me this question. The ones who actually needed parenting classes 101 would NEVER ask their teacher or anyone to be quite frank this question. This question typically doesn’t even cross their mind because how could they ever be doing something wrong?
Having fears and doubts are all totally NATURAL, and most parents worry about failing his/her kids. Parents have such high standards for themselves and are able to get into serious comparison traps with others so they start having these natural doubts.
Remember, life is a long race that begins and ends with ourselves. So don’t ever compare your insides to someone else’s outsides. There is NO parent-child relationship that is the same; therefore, there is no “best” parent in the world either. (Sorry Mom—of course, to me you will always be #1!)
However, there are a few tell-tale signs that I have learned over the years that indicate you are a ROCKSTAR parent to your child.
I could write a book about this question, but at the end of the day: If you have created a secure base for your child, your child will strive no matter what. It’s all about love, connection, contingency and not EXTERNAL RESULTS I also believe in the power of saying “I love you” EVERY SINGLE DAY!
If you'd like to discuss this topic more in depth, please check out my Parent Consulting Program and we can schedule a time to strategize and figure out a way to deepen your relationship and quell your anxieties.